Wednesday, April 6, 2016

E is for Endings

I am participating in an A-to-Z Blog challenge this month. My theme is ... The Music of My Life.


When I was nine years old, my mom and stepdad divorced. It was a terrible time, although I tried not to show it. My mom wasn't in great emotional shape, and I felt like I was the only thing holding her together. Everything was changing for us. We thought we would have to move in with my grandparents who lived a few doors down for us, so our little Chihuahua, Putt, had to be given away. The only man I ever remembered living with as a father was now living with someone else. My mom had to go back to work, and there was a lot of confusion and sadness all around.

I overheard a lot of things through adult conversations. Most of the things, I later found out, were true, crushing my view of love, marriage, and stability. But I didn't have time to deal with that right then. I was too worried about my mom.

My grandmother was my rock. She picked me up from school every day, helped me with my homework, and fed me dinner. My grandparents, Carol and Big Whit, lived only a few doors down from us, so they were my second (and sometimes first) home.

Endings are always hard, but they are especially hard for kids...and especially when they encompass the end of people. I only saw my stepfather a few times after that. Perhaps visitations were too hard for him; perhaps they were too hard for his new, pregnant wife. Whatever the case, the sleight left an indelible mark on me that never really went away. Like the tune of a song, the grief of loss haunts the mind, heart, and soul...

In 1981, music was more important to me than ever. Here were some of the songs playing on my radio...




8 comments:

  1. That is so sad Megan; I can see how it might have been hard for him to visit you afterwards. Son was with a lady who had a young daughter. He met her when the daughter was 6 months old. He was with the lady for about 3 years and he really thought they were going to get married, but she broke up with him (long story). However, her daughter had taken to call him Daddy and he had done a lot in raising her, etc. He tried to maintain a relationship with the little girl afterwards, encouraged by his ex-girlfriend, but then he moved out of state; hasn't seen the little one in probably close to 2 years. She's six now, so I'm wondering how many memories she has of him.

    Good you had your grandparents so close!

    betty

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    1. That is so hard, Betty. I hear that story time and time again of people who got very attached to someone else's child and then things didn't work out. I'm sure that was really hard on your son too.

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  2. That has to be tough. My parents divorced when I was five, but I still saw him occasionally (even though he's a sucky dad!). With a stepdad, though, you don't have that requisite connection, but the emotions are still there.

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    1. Five is a tough age too. Especially if Dad isn't great about maintaining a relationship. My bio dad has actually been good about that (I'll talk more about it later), but divorce is tough no matter what.

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  3. Rough for kids. Rough for adults, too. I have not had to deal with this in my life. I know, we are unusual. I cannot imagine the devastation divorce causes. I'm sorry you have had to deal with it.

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    1. It was a long time ago. I've been healed of it, but I hate to see others go through it.

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  4. My parents are divorced and I am divorced. Sometimes I think it is harder on the children than on the adults involved. But it's bad all around, leaves scars, and always reminds me that no wonder God hates divorce!

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    1. I definitely think it's hard on the kids, but it's hard on the adults too. Sometimes they have learned better coping skills, but it's still a tough slog.

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