Connections Between Porn and Infidelity

 

With the proliferation of news this week about AshleyMadison and the notorious list leak of cheating spouses, there are a lot of folks out there in disbelief at some of the names on that list. Celebrities, prominent business figures, and lots of average joes and janes. So it kind of makes you wonder—what on earth is with all of the cheating spouses?

Obviously some people cheat on their spouse because they meet someone who fills a void, or they fall in love with another person, but statistically speaking, cheating increases exponentially with the use of pornography. Research cited in an article by National Center on Sexual Exploitation and conducted by Dr. Jill Manning concluded that in the case of 56% of divorcing couples, heavy porn use is involved in the split.* Dr. Manning testified to this fact before the U.S. Senate in 2004, so we can probably assume that number is even higher 11 years later. AshleyMadison capitalized on the men and women involved in pornography by advertising their services on pornographic websites.

From a marketing standpoint it makes perfect sense. That is their target audience. These days there is an epidemic of men (and an alarming increase in number of women) who are incapable of committing to lasting relationships. Scientific evidence shows that the brain chemistry is altered by the use of pornography. The dopamine high is addictive and larger and larger doses are needed. It can also produce a delusional effect where the person thinks there is an unlimited amount of sexy, hot people out there just waiting to do all manner of the 'wild thing' with them. When their partners balk at such activities, they look to the illicit affair to fulfill the desires.

According to another article based out of Arkansas, the release of the AshleyMadison list is, as you can imagine, greatly affecting marriage counselors who are suddenly inundated with clients. Sex addiction is another factor in this whole ball of yarn that counselors must deal with—but again, sex addiction usually goes hand-in-hand with pornography use, and sites like AshleyMadison feed both of those addictions in spades.

If you want to check out Haley Halverson’s article on the connection between cheaing spouses and pornography click here.

To check out the article on Arkansas marital counselors and the effect all of this is having on them, click here.

 

*Halverson, Haley. Why Do People Cheat? The Link Between Ashley Madison and Pornography. National Center on Sexual Exploitation. 26 August 2015. http://endsexualexploitation.org/articles/why-do-people-cheat-the-link-between-ashleymadison-and-pornography/

*stock photo used

Abolition, Restoration, and Love146

This week I want to highlight a group called Love146. They are an international anti-trafficking group with US offices in New Haven and Houston, who offer safe housing and rehabilitation for girls rescued from sex trafficking; they also offer training and resources for those willing to go out and work in the trenches.

Their moving introduction video talks of how Love146 was created, when several of the co-founders embarked upon an undercover operation in Southeast Asia in 2002, hoping to learn how best to fight the horrors of child trafficking. They were unprepared for what they saw—in once instance, children with numbers attached to them, sitting behind a window, watching cartoons while waiting to be ordered off of a menu by number. Literally. One of the co-founders admits to feeling an overwhelming rage and desire to smash the window, to pull the girls to safety. Because this was an undercover mission, that response was impossible. They felt helpless. But one of the girls, #146, changed everything for them. Whereas most of the other children’s faces registered hopelessness and resignation—a typical and very human response to repeated trauma—in the eyes of #146 they saw defiance. She was still registering a desire to fight, there was still a light in her eyes. She was their call to action, and the reason Love146 was created.

 

Their mission statement is, “Abolition and Restoration! We combat child trafficking & exploitation with the unexpected and restore survivors with excellence.”

If you have a chance, pop over to their website and check them out. They work in the trenches. They see the unimaginable.