Friday, April 22, 2016

S is for Searching for Love Online

I am participating in the 2016 A-to-Z Blog Challenge. My theme is the music of my life.

When I returned from Australia, I finished my master's degree in creative writing and obtained a teaching job at a private middle school. I did not like teaching, but I was thirty years old and I didn't know what else to do with myself. I had expected to be married by then. 

From 2002 until 2006, I scoured the online world for the love I had not found overseas. Both and eharmony became my hunting grounds, and it was a wild and savage jungle out there. Weirdos, stalkers, and psychos lurked everywhere; a few nice guys wandered in the open spaces, but there was no one who really interested me. Two or three matches resulted in a dating relationship for a few months, but ultimately, they moved on. One emotionally damaged man hung around for two years, and that was two years of torment as far as I was concerned. I couldn't wait for that one to be over--and once it had ended, it still took some time to completely get him to stop calling me.

By 2006, I was over the whole, ridiculous quest. I wasn't even sure I wanted to meet someone. I felt numb and embittered. I was ready to give up for good...

Have you just wanted to give up on a dream?


  1. I have heard success stories with eHarmony; interesting to hear that it wasn't a "click" for you. Son met his now wife online through something with Facebook and then the girlfriend before that also online. I do agree, definitely lots of weirdos out there and one has to be careful.

    I think we all want to give up on a dream at one point in our lives. I think sometimes we then either do decide its not worth pursuing or keep going away at it until we do end up getting it.


  2. My fiance died when I was 25; the relationship after that was abusive. I decided I was done with men, and chose instead to get a fresh start by embracing a different dream - to go to the desert. I took a job at the Grand Canyon, never suspecting that, on my first day there, I would meet the man who is now my husband of almost 19 years!

    Sometimes, letting go allows the miraculous to happen....

    And sometimes, it just brings a sense of peace that comes from not bashing our heads into walls...

    Boldly Going Through the Alphabet!
    Part-Time Minion for Holton's Heroes
    shanjeniah's Lovely Chaos

  3. All I can say is don't give up a general grasp on hope... even if you have to let go of a specific dream.
    JEN Garrett

  4. I remember being in town and meeting you for dinner towards the end of the "emotionally damaged man" relationship. I knew it was nightmare for you (having experienced men like that myself) and it broke my heart watching you walk away that night. You looked like your spirit had been crushed. I prayed all the more fervently that the Lord would send you a good man.