When I returned from Australia, I finished my master's degree in creative writing and obtained a teaching job at a private middle school. I did not like teaching, but I was thirty years old and I didn't know what else to do with myself. I had expected to be married by then.
From 2002 until 2006, I scoured the online world for the love I had not found overseas. Both Match.com and eharmony became my hunting grounds, and it was a wild and savage jungle out there. Weirdos, stalkers, and psychos lurked everywhere; a few nice guys wandered in the open spaces, but there was no one who really interested me. Two or three matches resulted in a dating relationship for a few months, but ultimately, they moved on. One emotionally damaged man hung around for two years, and that was two years of torment as far as I was concerned. I couldn't wait for that one to be over--and once it had ended, it still took some time to completely get him to stop calling me.
By 2006, I was over the whole, ridiculous quest. I wasn't even sure I wanted to meet someone. I felt numb and embittered. I was ready to give up for good...
Have you just wanted to give up on a dream?